On the other side of fear

Fear

Walk to the edge of the cliff of my soul

do you see what’s out there?

I see a field of blossoming sunflowers

swaying  back and forth with the wind

angelic doves gracefully gliding above

little birds chirping 

chiming with the sound of neverending springy breeze

I see waves of clear blue sky reflected

in the still clear ocean

The smell of grass tickles on my nostrils 

I see paradise

I see paradise

So walk on to the edge of the cliff of my soul

and walk past where you’ve never gone before

and you will fly, 

you will be magical, 

you will be free

YC

Creative Ecstasy

I like the smell of the books that fills this room
Intoxicated off the sweet glass of poetry that swirls my heart
I melt into the creative flow between the rhythmic space between my canvass and the brush
My soul dances with the music you make for me
I can taste the sweetness of this very second on my tongue
Ecstasy overwhelms, this moment.

Helpless

If my tears could take away your pain

I’d cry forever

If my hugs could comfort you
I’d hug you forever

If my prayers could heal you
I’d pray forever

If my many sleepless nights will let you sleep better
I’d give up sleep forever

If my hope cheers you up
I’d be hopeful forever

If my love reminds you to keep fighting

Keep
Fighting

Because I’ll love you forever

No matter where you are and will be
You’re my father
And I’ll be your daughter forever

Fall in love with life…

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Fall in love with life; go on adventures; meet new people and experience new things with them; don’t be afraid to show who you are and befriend yourself; don’t ever ever forget to appreciate every moment that will never come back.

Tell people you love that you love them any chance you get; cherish the love you receive; forgive those who may have done you wrong out of their own insecurities; stay compassionate to all of us who are imperfect.

Now is all we will ever have and always be mindful that you only get one life to live. That way you won’t have regrets, because regrets are the empty traces of you not living to the fullest.

When things get hard, know that they will pass just as fast as any good times. And when things get good, know that you deserve it. Life is all but dull, so don’t forget to live colorfully, color life, color life!

Not Superstitious

I’m not superstitious but

I wash my clothes after a funeral

I’m not superstitious but

I buy lottery tickets after a good dream

I’m not superstitious but

I believe in good karma

I’m not superstitious but

I fall in love

I’m not superstitious but

I pray for strangers

I’m not superstitious but

I smile at every full moon for good luck

I’m not superstitious but

I kiss my grandma for her to live another healthy day

I’m not superstitious but

I throw pennies into fountains

I’m not superstitious but

I believe that all my good thoughts will one day,

benefit the corners of the world that I’ll never see

 

I’m not superstitious

I’m not superstitious

I swear to Buddha!

 

Have yourself a happy Wednesday!  🙂 You deserve it.

-YC

This Moment

The moment you realize no one is perfect you will
accept yourself
The moment you realize everyone struggles you will
connect with others
The moment you realize you are already more than enough you will
be content

The moment you realize the impermanence of life you will
let go
The moment you realize no one can guarantee your next breath you will
live to your fullest
The moment you realize today will never come back you will
appreciate the memories

The moment you help others you will
benefit more than anyone
The moment you expect nothing you will
gain everything
And the moment you realize you already have everything you will
be happy.

……………………….

Smile. Life is short 🙂 Enjoy each breath and everything you have.

-YC

Infidelity: Forgive and let go

I’ve been cheated on in a relationship with one of my ex ex ex’s about a while ago. It was an awful experience because even though I am sure it was just a few minutes of thrill for them of doing something that was wrong and “fun” (and drunk – and no, that is never an excuse), his infidelity really haunted me for a while. For months after, I was obsessed with the idea of trying to understand why people cheat and why people want to hurt those who they care about and vice versa. One night, as I was pondering this inner conflict for the 21398th time, I had a visual of these two people committing infidelity on a dark night by the ocean. I could feel it, I could smell it, and I got chills. Being present with that imagery helped me really understand their temptations and shortcomings as humans and their proceeded guilt. This was my way of re-living my pain creatively to heal myself – forgiving them and truly letting go.

I can say that I have been completely healed from the aforementioned infidelity now for a few years now, and with active creative healing and meditating on this subject. But as with all bad situations, there is a silver lining, and I learned that every wound can eventually be healed, and every wound that heals eventually makes you stronger and more intuitive. I also learned, among many other incidents that happened since, that trust is crucial in a relationship, on both sides.

Now that I feel 110% healed from that situation and learned some important lessons, I can discuss them with a smile rather than a pained heart, I want to share something that has been fairly private to my stronger heart but with confidence I can say that I am comfortable sharing this merely as a piece of creative work, rather than a piece of my broken heart now. I present to you one of my favorite poems that I have written in the last few years still:

 

Infidelity

the lustful melodies of her breaths

imprisoned by the scent of her disgraceful charm

engulfed by his primal hunger, he is

disenchanted from his ancient vows, he

drowns

helplessly in her intangible affection.

The moonlight shivers across the sin;

the eerie stillness of the apathetic air and

the nocturnal silence

exhaust his innocence.

If your spouse or your significant other has ever been unfaithful (and I hope they are your ex at this point), I want to remind you that the best thing to do is truly forgive, not just forget, about them. Take the sharp thing they threw in your heart out, even if it takes a major surgery through creative writing, therapy, healing, etc. Because if your heart scars over the sharp painful thing in your heart, it can become a part of you and eventually slowly hurt you more in the long term. And it will be that much easier to find the cause or the location of that pain. Forgive them not because you let go of your pride, or because you care about them, but because you love you and you care about you.

– YC

I’d rather be dying

One of the most common questions people ask randomly (sounds like an oxymoron) is.. “What would you do if you knew you were going to die.. tomorrow, a week from now, in a year, etc?” And peoples’ replies range from, “go to Vegas, do lines of coke on strippers boobs, get the sickest suite at Cesar’s Palace and gamble all my money, all day, every day” to “travel the world, search the meaning of life, spend time with my loved ones, all while skydiving or surfing” to “go to Africa and save a starving person, bring world peace and become the next Buddha,”

One day, I wondered, why does the realization that one is dying so much easier to motivate people to do what they really want to do with their lives, rather than the realization that they are living? And if it is the case that the sense of dying is what makes you really live to the fullest, then isn’t pretending to be dying much more valuable than pretending to be living?

I present you this poem I wrote a few weeks back, and please don’t go call 911 because I am not depressed nor is it a suicidal note. It is a simple reminder  for those who procrastinate the “true living” till the moment they are on the verge of death.

Go live today. And if that doesn’t work, at least start pretending you are dying.

I’d rather be dying

Brave me, for the end is known
Honesty and truth have shifted from
luxuries to Reasons
Desires have weakened, yet
Intentions strengthened
Humbled, not afraid to
reveal my vulnerability

While imagining the eternal dark shadows of my eyelids
for the first time I
notice the different hues of the changing seasons,
the way the sun gracefully glides behind the twinkling horizon
the delicate shape of the hidden tears and colorful laughter of those
I have loved, but never missed before.

The illusion of inching closer towards a known conclusion, rather than
moving away from the start
Carves my greed down till I am left with
nothing,
but what I can bring to the gates of heaven

But haven’t I always been moving in one direction
Even before I left the innate warmth of the womb?

Maybe
I’d rather be dying
than living.


Early morning coffee, writing, and a smile…

Fortunately, I have a job. Fortunately #2, my job is awesome in the sense that with an open mind, it allows me to have a 2 hour heart to heart with complete strangers who come to the school disguised as ” prospective students” to the college that I work for, who are simply just people who are looking for hope for a better future who have unresolved issues in their lives that have stopped them from continuing their education. Often times, what I realize their lack of will, ability, or capacity to go to college is not a simple “oops I forgot to take my SAT’s” but it is a surface symptom of lack of love, support, and direction for their family members or their “close ones.”

This morning, I realize that I have had many many heart to hearts with lost, confused, and insecure students who are very creative and talented (I work for an art school), and I created a short manual-ish poem for people who want to have more meaningful conversations in their lives. 🙂

Beginners’ Guide to a Heart to Heart

Speak passionately with your heart
Hug with uncontaminated sincerity

Listen as if they are the only audible words ever spoken
Absorb yourself in the conversation
Melt into the moment
Accept the wide spectrum of 
human emotions ranging from dark to joy

Judge nothing

Welcome the inevitable weakness and confusion of existence

Avoid the temptation to suggest a solution
But be a part of the healing process

Now, go spread the love! 🙂

(Don’t be a whore, you know what I mean!)