Being a Human “Being”

Are you always a human doing or do you ever allow yourself to be a human “being”? Do you take time to #relax or #renew your body and #soul? Do you consciously #reflect often?
As a recovering type A, I have a hard time relaxing still. I feel that a series of “doing” gives me an illusion of elated worth and ego at times. It feels still foreign to me at times to turn off my brain and surrender to just enjoying truly being present in the moment and committing to just “being.” We are already worthy and we are already perfect exactly where we are. So what am I trying to compensate when the “doing” overwhelms the “being?” Upon this realization lately I am getting better at dedicating time to relaxing and being ok doing nothing consciously, even for brief moments… but it does not come easy still. With a regular practice of meditation and yoga, I feel more and more present though.

Buddhism and other schools of thought in the realms of meditation agree that “doing nothing” is ironically the key to getting more things done; some even say doing nothing is a form of art in itself – and that human problems arise when one is feeling discomfort just “being” or inability to sit still.
So take the time to consciously relax and reflect. Let the waves and trembles of your mind calm down to a still state; and when your mind is still and clear, that’s when you can find the true and clear reflection of yourself. One cannot see their reflection in the busy and turbulent waves of the ocean but one can see themselves clearly in the reflection when the water is calm and still, like a lake. And with that clarity of seeing who you really are – is the first step towards true growth and change. One cannot measure change when they don’t know where they even started.

And when you can reflect, relax, and renew regularly and consciously, it opens up the space in your life for you to grow, to realign, and to find peace within. So don’t forget to be a human being, not just a human doing. We are perfect exactly where we are, as we are.

My Conversation with the Ocean

My conversation with the Ocean

This morning, I realized how disconnected I’ve been feeling from my own soul.

I have been burying myself in my little studio apartment in Newport Beach – where I would learn and listen from my mentors, training videos, audio books, trying to fill my brain with as much information as possible.

I was leading with this masculine energy of building, achieving, succeeding. I would even meditate every day for a few minutes, but it was more so to check off from my “to-do” list, rather than to really make time to connect with myself.

This morning, I woke up at 4:50 am ready to take on the day and achieve, achieve achieve. – another day with masculine energy taking over.

.. then as I was making coffee and going into “doing” mode, I recognized this lack of feminine energy and it hit me really hard – and I felt my thirst to connect with myself for a moment – I need a balance.

So I changed my plans.

I put everything down – I left my cell phone at home and just started running towards the ocean.

I started running in silence, no audiobook, no music, to realize how much I haven’t been listening to ME, my own beautiful voice. I’ve bombarded myself with information and knowledge constantly, literally falling asleep to listening to audiobooks, reading, taking in SO much information in…

…yet I haven’t let my soul and brain breathe to really listen to ME and letting the extended silence echo back to remind me of my own voice in a long time.

Well, I am so glad I am going for this run, I thought.

Then I reached the sand at the beach, and I climbed these big rocks so I can be close to the waves and the abundant ocean.

Wow.
I forgot how hungry I was to connect with my soul and nature. I sat down on this big sturdy rock, and it was still a little wet from the dew from the morning. I made myself comfortable for a meditation session.

I started matching my inhales and exhales with the waves crashing and tides coming in and out. I started to feel the breeze and the saltiness of the air tickle all my senses.

Before I knew it, I fell into a deep, meditative state and in my trance I started a conversation with the ocean.

****

Me:
I am so thankful for you.
Your tides coming in and out match my breathing and I feel so connected to you, and reminds me that you also breathe, just like me, and you are so alive.
These big rocks ground me; I love the weight you are able to share with me to create this stability and grounding.
Your waves crashing against these big rocks remind me how courageous and majestic you are.
I can taste the saltiness of the air and it reminds of my own tears I’ve tasted once – and reminds me that you have the wisdom and depth to understand me.
You are so full of love, nurture, and abundant and I am so deeply thankful for you.
You are a healer. You are a nurturer. You are so beautiful.

Ocean:
So glad you’re here. I’ve missed you.
Let me ask you, did you always feel that way about me?

Me:
No.
There were times in my life where things got really difficult and I’d come visit you.
And your rocks felt cold.
You were so big and I felt so small.
You seemed to carry on your days so majestically with or without me, and it felt lonely in your big indifferent presence.

Ocean:
Have I changed?

Me: …No…

Ocean:
I’ve been doing this for thousands, millions of years. Changes I’ve experienced in the last few years or maybe decades you’ve been even alive are minimal.
So what’s the only thing that’s changed?

Me:…….

Me:……..Me.
I’ve changed. I’m the only thing that’s changed.

Ocean:
What you see in me, is what you see in you.
What you see in others, is what you see in you.
Right now what you see, is your own growth and change.
What you see is your own courage, your own beauty, your own majestic presence in your own being.
I am just a mirror.
I will be here as I am for a long time, and I will always be here to mirror you back to you.

….And I fell into tears, for this realization was so powerful, and I tasted the salty ocean on my lips as I opened my eyes.

And I said out loud before I started running back home “Thank you. I will come back soon.”