Four Leaf Clovers: Abnormal is beautiful.

True artists are like four leaf clovers: they don’t fit in, they are different, and hard to find; and you will feel extremely lucky if you find them because they have this innate power to inspire you. The rest of the world glorifies them as they are special and unique when they are “discovered,” but until they are appreciated by the right people and environments, the reality is that they are often just written off as abnormal, weird, and deformed, even. But they they don’t care and that’s what makes them beautiful, and true artists.

The other day, I was walking to my parents’ place for lunch for my weekly visit, and I saw a cluster of three leaf clovers, and for some reason, I felt compelled to kneel down to the ground and look for this mythical four leaf clover in the grass. By the way, being content in your life brings many benefits, and one of them is that you start to feel your senses enhance and you feel more observant of your surroundings. It was one of those days, where I must have passed by these clusters of three leaf clovers many many times before, but that moment, I noticed how green the grass smelled, how blue and open the sky felt, and how interesting these clusters of three leaf clovers were.

So there I was, on the grass, with my work clothes and high heels and all (yes I wear high heels to work, don’t hate), kneeled on the grass because of this instant curiosity to see if I can find this four leaf clover.

And let me ask you this… when is the last time you took the time to really look at the three leaf clovers? Because I noticed something interesting… these three leaf clovers were actually really really pretty; They had these perfect little heart shaped leaves that fit perfectly to one another. I went through maybe 30 of these three leaf clovers, that looked identical to each other, as if they were flaunting their perfect conformity amongst other three leaf clovers. But despite their perfect shapes, and while I admired their unified beauty, I was uninterested in them – I wanted to find the lucky four. leaf. clover.

After 10 minutes or so of looking (one elderly lady stopped and looked at me weird, until I told her I was compelled to look for a four leaf clover, and she smiled brightly and told me, “you know they say they bring good luck!”), I found a four leaf clover…………

……but it was nothing like what I had imagined it to look like. I thought it would be a set of four symmetrical, perfectly heart shaped leaves complementing one leaf to another leaf in harmony, and I would pick it, I would take a picture of it, instagram it, all that crazy shit you would think you would do when you find a four leaf clover! Right? Well I didn’t do any of that. I was consumed by the beauty of the enlightenment it offered me.

So here was the reality… the four leaf clover was fragile, frail, and the leaves had yellow age marks on them. The leaves were nothing close to perfect hearts, but they were all asymmetrical and compared to all the other three leaf clovers, it was… rather not “pretty.”

Then I remembered something my mom had told me as a child… four leaf clovers are actually the “abnormal” three leaf clovers. And 20 some years later, I realized the beauty of this statement. One optimistic, artistic, poetic soul probably witnessed what I saw that moment (and maybe Irish, and had a keen fascination in stories involving pots of gold and midgets), how imperfect, how independent, and how different a four leaf clover was, and thought, why not glorify their uniqueness and call them the “lucky clovers”, rather than shun them for their deformity?

And whoever thought of that was probably a true artist. I remember learning about the definition of “art” in Anthropology in college and being very fascinated by its meaning. Art is something that is not only beautiful, but accepted to be beautiful by the majority.

But in my opinion true artists are people who create art not for the majority because they create without caring too much about what other people care to accept as beautiful or meaningful. They are often written off as different, weird, and even deformed, with their ideas, perspectives, and their creations. Remember van Gogh? His work wasn’t even glorified until after his death really. (And he was missing a f*ckin’ ear! He fits so perfectly to my four leaf clover metaphor!) But he was a true artist always. I hear about stories of even modern day artists and musicians too where they were often written off as the “weirdos” in their childhood or teenage years, and they become big stars when their unique qualities actually seem refreshing to the rest of the conformed world. And who are people who usually “discover” these talents? They are often also fellow artists who have the ability to find beauty in them.

This is what I will end this message on. Next time you see a person or encounter an idea that is out of your own comfort zone, whether it is because of the person’s beliefs, looks, backgrounds, or whatever makes the person or idea “abnormal” to you, remember that they could be your four leaf clover, and you may be extremely lucky to have met them or learned about them, if you look at it with an open mind and an optimistic set of eyes. Find the beauty in them. You have the power to do so. If it takes practice, practice.

Because the beauty you find in them reflects the beauty within yourself.

– YC

You are your own best catalyst.

Change is synonymous to hope, growth, and courage. It sometimes takes years and sometimes it is instantaneous, like a switch you remembered to turn on all of the sudden.

And your body is your mind’s best and longest friend and your mind is your body’s. When they start to truly appreciate and foster this friendship and truly respect each other, one’s confidence and self esteem grows for the synergy between the mind and body is strong and generous. Recognizing this helps you change and grow for the better.

Therefore, you are your own best catalyst. The moment you remember that you hold the switch to your own happiness, that’s when you will just be.

Oh and be Happy.

Infidelity: Forgive and let go

I’ve been cheated on in a relationship with one of my ex ex ex’s about a while ago. It was an awful experience because even though I am sure it was just a few minutes of thrill for them of doing something that was wrong and “fun” (and drunk – and no, that is never an excuse), his infidelity really haunted me for a while. For months after, I was obsessed with the idea of trying to understand why people cheat and why people want to hurt those who they care about and vice versa. One night, as I was pondering this inner conflict for the 21398th time, I had a visual of these two people committing infidelity on a dark night by the ocean. I could feel it, I could smell it, and I got chills. Being present with that imagery helped me really understand their temptations and shortcomings as humans and their proceeded guilt. This was my way of re-living my pain creatively to heal myself – forgiving them and truly letting go.

I can say that I have been completely healed from the aforementioned infidelity now for a few years now, and with active creative healing and meditating on this subject. But as with all bad situations, there is a silver lining, and I learned that every wound can eventually be healed, and every wound that heals eventually makes you stronger and more intuitive. I also learned, among many other incidents that happened since, that trust is crucial in a relationship, on both sides.

Now that I feel 110% healed from that situation and learned some important lessons, I can discuss them with a smile rather than a pained heart, I want to share something that has been fairly private to my stronger heart but with confidence I can say that I am comfortable sharing this merely as a piece of creative work, rather than a piece of my broken heart now. I present to you one of my favorite poems that I have written in the last few years still:

 

Infidelity

the lustful melodies of her breaths

imprisoned by the scent of her disgraceful charm

engulfed by his primal hunger, he is

disenchanted from his ancient vows, he

drowns

helplessly in her intangible affection.

The moonlight shivers across the sin;

the eerie stillness of the apathetic air and

the nocturnal silence

exhaust his innocence.

If your spouse or your significant other has ever been unfaithful (and I hope they are your ex at this point), I want to remind you that the best thing to do is truly forgive, not just forget, about them. Take the sharp thing they threw in your heart out, even if it takes a major surgery through creative writing, therapy, healing, etc. Because if your heart scars over the sharp painful thing in your heart, it can become a part of you and eventually slowly hurt you more in the long term. And it will be that much easier to find the cause or the location of that pain. Forgive them not because you let go of your pride, or because you care about them, but because you love you and you care about you.

– YC

We are all connected.

I am never really the one to write any strong political posts nor is this meant to be one, but just wanted to share this. I know a lot of you are upset over obamacare and its immediate effect on your premiums, but today I helped a student whose dad had passed away, whose mom got cancer and with no health insurance and she was told that she had no choice but to cut her bladder out, which would have eventually killed her. They are already very low income and were relying on food stamps because his mom was too sick to work and the student was too young and busy taking care of his mom. It was just in time for Obamacare that had passed, and because of that she was able to get the treatment she needed so she didn’t have to cut her bladder out. Per student, Obama admin called the doctor directly to release the funds for the situation. I listened to this as the student asked me tearing up with deeply marinated pain in his reminiscing big brown eyes, “do you know what it feels like to sit next to your mom, your only family left, and the doctor just announces that we have to cut her bladder out, just because… We couldn’t pay for the better treatment?” And I told him, “no I do not.” Next time that we pay a few more dollars, and even if you don’t agree with the proposition while we have to any way, do remember that there are definitely people who have been positively affected by it, whose mom was saved, who didn’t become an orphan, and who is truly grateful that such healthcare initiative saved someone they love. It is surely “unfortunate” that some of us, the more privileged, have to pay more than what we are “used to” but remember whatever we are used to is a privilege in itself and often we are so lucky we don’t even realize it. I am not looking for any defensive remarks that talks negatively about Obamacare, for every political initiative has 2 sides to the story, and I openly admit I am not 100 percent aware of all of the statistics as none of us are, but for a moment I just wanted to share, how beautiful is it that some of us, just with a few dollars, unknowingly were able to save someone’s life? We are truly all connected and the moment we really understand that and appreciate that, sharing and caring becomes so much easier.

– YC

Inner Peace

I find comfort in this universe
The earth embraces me like a mother
as if she is holding her newborn for the first time
Overwhelmed, the welcoming world around
I am an infant that has been wombed for a long time 
And I innately smile as I open my eyes to absorb

the warmth of its nurture
which puts me to sleep
I quietly snore in its
infinite love

Oh this is where I belong

I’ve yearned for this peace all my life
Only to realize I’ve already been
held,
loved and
protected in this haven all along

Your love is so big and generous

It is sometimes hard to see where it starts or even stretches to

But now I’ve realized
This comfort in this universe
This nest is forever mine

– YC